I gave him a weak smile and said good night. But later as I tossed and turned in bed, I couldn’t chase away the apprehension I had about the high driving ahead. The more I tried not to think about it, the more my mind kept going back to that helpless feeling of panic I had on the first leg of the journey. My fear seemed to possess a life of its own. You’re being childish , I chided myself. This is ridiculous ! If I could just close my eyes and relax, I thought, the renewal of a good night’s sleep would drive the fear away.
But it didn’t go away. All through the flatlands of Arkansas, Oklahoma , north Texas and New Mexico it lay like a coiled snake inside of me. When we approached the high plateau of northern Arizona it began to stir. As the grades grew steeper and the curves sharper, my sense of control faltered, "It’s all in your head," I kept repeating desperately. "There is no danger. It’s all in your head."