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译文1:Sept.10 is Teachers Day.What is the image of teachers in peoples heart?Little reporters from the middle school attached to Qinghua University walked out of their school gate and interviewed 76 passersby.The interview shows that 83% people think that teachers shoulder the important task of educating the next generation,they are the decisive factor of improving the whole peoples cultural level,and they are worth of being respected.
译文2:Whats the teachers image?On Teachers Day,Sept.10,a group of teenage reporters from the secondary school of Qinghua University took a poll on the street on seventysix passersby.Eightysix of those surveyed said that teachers should be held in high esteem because they are committed to the shaping of the younger generation,an undertaking crucial to achieving a higher level of education in China.
比较上面的译文,可以看出,译文1显得呆板、生硬,而译文2比较通顺、流畅。译文1显然忽略了文章的逻辑关系,只是一味地按照原文的行文顺序和字面意思,逐字逐句地翻译,而译文2没有拘泥于原文的词汇和句式,不是孤立地看一句译一句,而是在通观全局、仔细推敲上下文和文章内容的基础上,抓住了文章重心和主旨(即教师在人们心目中的形象),能根据上下文的需要和英文的表达习惯对原文结构和词汇进行调整。如把“What is the teachers image”一句放到句首,既符合英文表达习惯,又突出了主题,使主要内容一目了然。另外,从上下文看,译文1照字面意思把“小记者”译为“little reporters”,似乎不如译文2的“teenage reporters”确切。译文2把“采访”分别灵活地译成“poll”和“survey”也显得很恰当。译文1把“走出校门”译成“walked out of their school gate”,而译文2只译为“took a poll on the street”,既然是采访街头的人当然要在校外进行,这是不言而喻的,因此这样译比较简练。但译文2把“清华附中”译为“the secondary school of Qinghua University”不妥,还是译文1的译法准确。
2.译文结构松散,中心层次不清,可读性差,不符合英语的表达习惯
原文:1953年,英美两国计划对中国援朝部队使用原子弹,并准备用核武器进攻中国。当这个消息由第三国外交官转告北京时,新中国的领导人深感忧虑,立即作出了建立和发展原子弹和导弹事业的决定。
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